By S
éamus Smyth

5. Clean up Hawrelak Park

Apparently this park was built on an ancient landfill which certainly won’t help matters. But regardless of its unfortunate past life, this place is literally in the chest cavity of the city. Despite the mountains of bird poop, people still flock to this summertime Mecca year after year. Why don’t we give the boys and girls something to do besides watch the dogs of passerby’s bark at one another and dodge the bewildered Frisbees of pseudo-athletes? Let’s throw some sand on that plot of grass, turn that giant body of water into the biggest pool party Edmonton has ever seen, so we can stop pretending driving out to Alberta Beach and Pigeon Lake isn’t a pain in the rectum.

4. Create a more pedestrian-friendly Whyte Ave

Every major metropolis in the world has a main strip of its central area shut off from traffic and open to pedestrians at all hours. It would be impossible to do on Jasper Ave because it serves as a main artery for commuters coming to and from work. But Whyte Ave could potentially pull it off. Would it require some re-configuring for adjacent apartment buildings? Yes. Would there likely need to be a parking area created on the edge of the pathways so people can at least get that far? Yes. Wow, that was easy.

3. Support the downtown arena

The arena is going through regardless of the $100 trillion shortfall, or whatever the number comes out to. But rather than be skeptics about the entire procedure, why don’t Edmontonians begin looking at methods of coming up with this extra cash? This arena will be a massive boon to not only downtown, but to the entire city; think hard Mr. and Mrs. Brightside.

2. Fight back against mosquitoes

I am not a scientist; therefore I cannot recommend any reasonable solution to fighting back against the evil mosquito population except for calling for their complete annihilation. Yes, the squeeters are bad in a number of places across Canada during the summer, but they seemed to have become die-hard Edmonton fans over the past three years. What was once a pest is now a legitimate reason to stay indoors, or worse for the city, have people vacation to other areas because the problem is no longer tolerable.

1. Put an end to the endless growth of suburbia

Edmonton desperately needs to begin building up and refrain from building out. Part of the reason that the downtown core lacks life is that not enough human beings actually live there. The city is obsessed with the white picket fence/backyard concept, even if it is nearly an hour outside of the city’s core. This inclination to live on the outskirts of the heart of the city puts a huge burden on the city’s services, which in turn, raises the cost. It is time for Edmontonians to embrace the idea that one should live relatively close to where they work. So if you work downtown, would you mind living there as well? You likely won’t have to drive as much (if at all,) you can take advantage of the local facilities, and allow those who work on the Southside to, you guessed it, live on the Southside. Welcome to a new, greener, and unquestionably more intelligent way of living in Edmonton.