Opinion
By Séamus Smyth

5. *N Sync feat. Nelly – Girlfriend

Would you be JT’s girlfriend before he brought sexy back? That’s the impending question that Justin’s former gang and one of the 90’s biggest rappers rhetorically ask. Clearly the answer was “Oui,” unless you turned out to be a white-trash vagina flasher, aka Britney Spears. The track was one of the first to have the joint blessing of pop and rap music, which would rapidly turn into a profitable and rich relationship.

 4. The Killers – Somebody Told Me

Brandon Flowers is in a jealous rage, and who can blame him? His ex-girlfriend is dating a dude who looks like yet another one of his ex-girlfriends. He predicts his future greatness, claiming “I’ve got potential” but I’m guessing he didn’t regain her attention until he grew a moustache for their second album, Sam’s Town. Flowers is devastated, even temporarily surrendering his faith by declaring “Heaven ain’t close in a place like this” – gloomy thoughts from Mr. Brightside.

3. Best Coast – Boyfriend

It’s the diary entry of literally every straight woman and gay man to ever exist. “I wish he was my boyfriend,” probably sounds annoying to friends, and even worse when sung out loud, yet Best Coast make it church-choir material. It’s a devastatingly simple love letter that sounds like it was written by a ten-year-old, but manages to sound like a wise woman who knows exactly what she’s after.

2. Phoenix – Girlfriend

The song invites the butterflies of a thousand stomachs to come fluttering out to this sailboat-in-the-sunset ballad. It’s charming, sincere and above all, powerful. French is the native tongue of Phoenix, and often referred to as the language of love, yet this group manages to manipulate the English language to sound as though it was created solely for sweeping potential girlfriends off their feet.

 1. Neon Indian – Hex Girlfriend

Does it make you feel alright? We get a mixed response from the glow n’ the dark Indians. A hex girlfriend sounds as though the former flame of Mr. Palomo may have been a witchcraft freelancer, yet he sings about her as though she just gave birth to baby Jesus II. The chorus to this track is as moving as any initial rush of lust, where one can barely move because the sensation is borderline paralyzing. “Stupid face looking so perplexed, Seeming like it was caught in a hex,” puts a fresh perspective on being caught dumbfounded by impossible beauty. It’s a standout track from a standout album that makes this group a must to show to your hex girlfriend, your ex-girlfriend, and definitely your next girlfriend.

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