By James Pavel

5. No One Else – Weezer

Lead singer Rivers Cuomo’s dating portfolio is one of a megalomaniac tsar but at least he knows what he wants. “I want a girl who laughs for no one else,” is only the beginning of his tyrannical wish list, and yet he must be commended for such outlandish ambition. “When I’m away she never leaves the house,” is a controlling boyfriend’s jail-cell fantasy, but still a concept that every sane member of a relationship could happily live with.

4. Hey Jealousy – Gin Blossoms

If only every dude who drank six cocktails too many could express their jealous rage the way the Gin Blossoms managed to do. “Hey Jealousy” is a poem acknowledging the wrench twisting and turning this gin flower’s fragile heart, but in typical fashion, jealousy never replies back. Nobody gives the silent treatment better than this poisonous yet overwhelmingly powerful emotion, and although Gin Blossoms call jealousy out over 15 times throughout this 90s rocker, unbeknownst to them, jealousy put the phone off the hook a long time ago.

3. Every Breath You Take – The Police

Yes, I am 100 per cent aware that this song is notorious for being authored through the eyes of a pseudo-stalker. But really, what is a stalker? Yes, they follow one around and conduct a pile of illegal and disruptive mayhem, but is the core of their behaviour not derived from jealousy? He is watching you because he can’t have you. “Can’t you see you belong to me?” They are the words of someone who is convinced that the apple of their eye has gone astray and it is their duty to bring clarity. Their views are diluted and their actions are unethical, and their heart is flooded with jealousy.

2. Jealous Guy – John Lennon

Never has jealousy been so delicate, yet Lennon manages to rock it back and forth as if it was a newborn child and not a monster inside of him. It’s the sober second thought after a night of raging insecurities and unfounded betrayal. Nobody ever wants to be labeled a jealous guy, yet rarely is one completely insusceptible to feeling pangs of anger when someone is smiling too much in the direction opposite of one’s tender eyes.

1. Mr. Brightside – The Killers

Whenever emotion is explained in explicit detail like never before, a song is bound to become recognized for generations. The Killers conveyed the hurricane of pain and fury that encompasses jealousy like no other author or poet could foster, and managed to do it with a grin on their faces. Where usually music is most successful when it is broad, “Mr. Brightside” is hauntingly specific. “I just can’t look, it’s killing me,” puts the listener in an exact time and place and transforms Brandon Flowers’ words into personal details of an unforgettable moment. Flowers’ begs to be released from the grasps of jealousy as he pleads “let me go.” He can’t have her, at least not anymore, and he knows why. Destiny is calling, and love will have to wait, and the notion that he will find love again is why he will always and forever be, Mr. Brightside.