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Opinion
By James Pavel

1. Thou shall not screenshot a woman’s breasts if thy is lucky enough to receive such a snap. 

2. Thou shall not send snaps of thy penis. It is, and never will be, camera friendly. 

3. Thou shall not send snaps that read “I’m bored.” Being bored is for boring people. Do not attempt to  lasso me into your dungeon of tumbleweeds. 

4. Thou shall not send concert snaps because they sound like muffled wild animals screaming into the recipient’s ear and not whatever song you should be enjoying rather than snapping away with God-awful results. Just enjoy the show – I can YouTube it later. 

5. If thou sends snaps of kitchen appliances or other mundane items, thou will surrender Snapchat privileges for officially being too lame for the application.

6. Thou shall consider acting, improvising, and delivering maximum effort for supreme Snapchat enjoyment for recipient. It’s 10 seconds. Make it count. 

7. Thou shall snap homeless people, dogs, and tropical beaches at every opportunity. 

8. Thou shall not send snaps to boss because thy employer does not need to see thou taking hooter shooters off of a Mexican stripper named Loco Maria at 2 a.m. on a Tuesday.

9. Unless thy is Wolfgang Puck, thou shall not snap food pictures no more than once a month. Nobody cares about your overcooked steak and slop of stale corn and mold-ridden broccoli accompanying it.

10. Thou shall not snap selfies more than one in every ten snaps. Thy Lord created Instagram for this self-serving purpose. 

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